Do You Need Some Space?

Creating space in your relationship is one way to foster closeness and to reduce conflict.

Differing opinions often cause tension within couples. Creating space for every opinion is a helpful skill that will foster closeness and connection. When someone has a different opinion than we do we often make meaning around it. We may feel that they don't understand us or that they see us differently because our opinions are not the same.

The first step in reducing this tension is understanding that there will be things in life that we have different opinions on. Being able to recognize that it doesn't mean anything about you or the relationship will help you regulate yourself. If we can trust that their different opinion does not mean they think less of us we can lean into it. This will open space for your partner’s opinion. In this way, rather than thinking the relationship is disconnected we can work to understand our partner. It helps us feel less defensive about our opinions and reduces the need to try change theirs.

When we can drop the need for sameness, we create space for togetherness.